My failure at sobriety necessarily makes me an emotional basket case due to alcohol withdrawal, which in turn makes me want to use just to avoid having to deal with it. I last drink two days ago on Friday evening. I've let my desk at work get out of hand, which causes me further stress.
It's impossible to make up for wasted time and wasted opportunity. To me, my life is one failure after another, which explains why I have no faith in turning things around. However, all I can do is do what I can do right now. Today that means coming into the office to organize my work. Tomorrow it means sticking to my diet and budget. Hopefully I'll have the strength to keep a calm face while the storm rages inside my head and to move one step at a time through the days of this week.