The strain of familial and workplace stress finally got to me and caused me to break my sobriety last Friday night, though I suppose I should say that I chose to break my sobriety as a way of taking personal responsibility. Regardless, there goes four months of sobriety down the U-bend. I finally just said "fuck it" and drank and smoked and played my video games. I spent all day Saturday in bed (with a wicked hangover) being too depressed to get up until 6 p.m. I didn't stay up very long before going back to bed. Sunday I managed to drag myself out of bed sometime around noon and then ran around doing a lot of dreary chores.
The real problem is that my relapse has returned my thirst, which continued sobriety had kept at bay, and now I want to take refuge from my feelings and worries by running to the shelter of mother's beer and hard cider. For example, today I can find little enthusiasm for being any kind of responsible adult and can hear the voice of temptation whispering in my ear...
Less Than Zero (Assuming 0 = 250)
On a more positive note, I have gotten my weight back down below 250 pounds. I bit the bullet and weighed myself the other day. My previous histrionics aside, my dragging myself out of bed at 6 a.m. hasn't been totally in vain. I've added some strength training, which I hate, but the best way to get into shape is to do both cardio and weights.